Life is full of choices, but sometimes the sheer number of options can leave us paralysed. This phenomenon, known as the Fear of a Better Option (FOBO), is a growing challenge in a world where information is at our fingertips and decision-making feels more complex than ever. Unlike FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), which focuses on the opportunities we might lose, FOBO traps us in the endless pursuit of perfection, leading to analysis paralysis and a sense of frustration.
FOBO Defined: The Science Behind the Fear
FOBO, or the Fear of a Better Option, is a psychological phenomenon where individuals obsess over maximising every decision, no matter how small. The paradox of choice becomes overwhelming as we attempt to research every possible outcome to ensure we pick the “perfect” one. This commitment to perfection often leads to choice overload, delaying decisions and increasing stress.
Even after a decision is made, FOBO can linger. Post-decision regret creeps in with questions like, “Was this really the best choice? Did I explore every possible alternative?” It’s an exhausting cycle that impacts not only small decisions but also major life choices like career paths, relationships, and where to live.
The Signs of FOBO
Recognising the signs of FOBO is the first step towards addressing it. Do you:
- Spend hours scrolling through Netflix, unable to commit to a film or series?
- Overanalyse every restaurant review on Facebook, Google, or TripAdvisor before making a booking?
- Second-guess your choices even after you’ve made a decision?
These behaviours are classic indicators of FOBO, rooted in the paradox of choice. The more options we have, the harder it becomes to feel satisfied with any one of them. This fear of commitment prevents us from moving forward, leaving us stuck in limbo.
Career FOBO: A Real-Life Example
Big decisions, like choosing a career path, often trigger FOBO. Sina, a mid-career professional, recently faced redundancy. On the surface, she seemed to have an abundance of opportunities, but her inability to commit to one left her overwhelmed. Here’s her situation:
- She held a corporate job in a blue-chip company while managing three investment properties in Amsterdam.
- She lived in Barcelona, Spain, for its climate and beaches, commuting monthly to Zürich for work.
- She had recently completed a Buddhist meditation retreat in Tibet and was studying part-time for an Executive MBA.
When redundancy struck, Sina faced a barrage of decisions:
- Where to live? Should she stay in Spain, move to Zürich, return to Amsterdam, or explore life in Asia?
- Where to work? Should she continue her corporate career, start her own consulting business, or develop a portfolio career?
- Where to focus? Should she expand her property investments, sell them, or shift her attention elsewhere?
This relentless search for the “right” option left Sina exhausted. It’s a textbook case of FOBO, where too many possibilities create analysis paralysis.
Overcoming FOBO: A Method for Moving Forward
Helping Sina meant organising her choices into three manageable buckets, evaluating the options, and shifting her mindset. The goal wasn’t to find the “perfect” choice but to embrace the idea that life is about chance, imperfection, and learning from every decision.
When faced with FOBO, consider these steps:
- Simplify your choices: Narrow down your options to a few that align with your core values and goals.
- Set a deadline: Limit the time you spend on research and commit to making a decision within that timeframe.
- Focus on the future: Accept that no choice is entirely risk-free. What matters is taking action and learning as you go.
Life Is Like a Box of Swiss Chocolates
When making decisions, think of life as a box of quality Swiss chocolates. Each choice represents a unique flavour, such as a rich Grand Cru 70% cocoa or a creamy cappuccino truffle. Both are good options—neither is inherently “right” or “wrong.” The joy comes from savouring the experience rather than obsessing over whether you made the “best” choice.
FOBO robs us of this joy by amplifying regret and overthinking. Instead of fearing the potential for a better option, focus on the opportunities each decision offers. Worry less about making the “wrong” choice and more about enjoying the journey.
Ready to Break Free from FOBO?
Don’t let the Fear of a Better Option hold you back from making decisions that move your life forward. Whether you’re facing a career crossroads, life changes, or simply feeling stuck, professional coaching can help you cut through the fog of FOBO.
Take the first step towards clarity and confidence. Get in touch today to schedule a consultation and start embracing choices that empower your future.